Cheating on my House!

I feel like I am cheating on my house. I also feel like I am being buried alive by all the stuff in my house! I know that I need to really make a concerted effort to start going through things and getting rid of some of this stuff and organize the rest, but how do you do that with a toddler?

I am truly struggling with this these days. I have so many little projects started but nothing finished that it is beginning to drive me crazy. I feel that all I do each day is the bare minimum to get us through the day - laundry (maybe one load, two if we are having a good day), dishes, cleaning up toys, maybe get the bathroom clean, make meals. I have great plans each morning - today I am going bake something yummy for my family, or I am going to sort through the clothes in the office and get them packed away or I am going dust my bedroom. Still none of it gets done.

The one reason for all of this is the time I spent at the gym from January to April -2 hours a day, 3 days a week. By the time I would get to the gym and then home it was time for lunch and then naps (I can't seem to give up my afternoon nap no matter how hard I try). My workouts would seriously kick my butt so that I would need them. Now I think it is just a habit. I don't regret this though - I lost 19 inches overall and feel really good. Now I haven't been to the gym in a week so I need to figure out how to fit it back into my schedule this week but still . . . Part of me thinks I need some time with my home!

So starting tomorrow I am somehow going to knock one TO DO off my list. Start slowly and take it one day at a time. Rome wasn't built in a day and we certainly didn't accumulate all this stuff over night so we will take our time and see what we can get done! Wish me luck!

All Done!

These are two words my daughter is very good at saying these days - ALL DONE! We use it at dinner time generally to tell us when she is finished eating. But we have started using it at other times - like when we are playing, reading stories, or at the end of bath time.

She says it with such fervor - ALLLL Done! ALLL Done! It makes us laugh each time she says it. We did teach her the sign language for all done - waving your hands to the sides and this did work for a long time, but we always said the words too just so she would learn it eventually. Well that day came - the signing stopped and the words came, eagerly.

So ALLL Done! works at the end of dinner or when mommy has had a long day and she is ALLLL Done! All done will also be monumental for me on Wednesday as I have my last and final training session. I will be ALLLLL Done! And I feel somewhat guilty saying this but I am looking forward to being done.

Why? Well, simply, I need a change in programs and what I am doing. I also think I need a little more flexibility in when I go to the gym. Since January, I have been going 3 days a week, sometimes less, sometimes more, still 3 days a week at 9:00 in the morning. That was the best time for us and really helped to establish a good routine. In fact, at least 5 out of 7 days a week we are out of the house by 9:00 a.m. I am looking forward to next week when I can choose to go or not go.

The thing that worries me though is falling off the wagon and continuously making excuses not to go - oh the laundry needs to be done, the house needs to be cleaned, we had a rough night of sleep - even as I write them they all sound lame. Even in the last 3 weeks, with bad nights of sleep, I have gotten my butt in gear and gone. But will the "pressure" to go disappear when my trainer does? I think because I am aware of this worry, I will be cognizant of making sure that doesn't happen. I still plan on trying to keep a pretty similar schedule - there by 9ish - but if we want to go to playgroup we will have a better chance of getting there with more than 1/2 hour left!

All in all, I am looking forward to the change that is coming. I will be developing my own program. I have done a lot of learning about my body - mostly about the hurts - I have patella femoral syndrome in my left knee and possibly a leftover car accident injury (shoulder) from 14 years ago. I have also spent a lot of time listening (to my trainer), asking questions, reading and learning in the past 4 months and for the first time in a long time I am excited about the possibilities that lay ahead. I can see the changes that have taken place in my body - my calf muscles are a lot closer to being the same size again! And I look forward to continuing my fitness journey. But sshhhh! Don't tell my trainer but between you and I, I don't plan on going near the chest press machine any time soon! Somehow I don't think it will miss me either :)

Daddy's Sanity Time

So my hubby and I were talking yesterday about what we had going on today. I had an extra training session at the gym, bright and early but that was the only thing I had going on. He says to me "okay, well I will watch Sophie in the morning if you can watch her in the afternoon." I say "Okay, what are you going to do?" "Oh just stuff." "Oh that's good" and trying to be an interested and supportive wife I ask "What stuff?" To this I don't get much of a response.

Should I be suspicious - not really. It is either racing related or racing related. It just drives me crazy because if I wasn't interested in what he was doing I wouldn't have asked. Still he won't say. So as I am heading to bed - early, we had a rough night the night before - I ask again just to see if he would tell me and well frankly I have worked up several scenarios in my head (of which I know none are correct) but I just need to know. He finally says "I just need some daddy sanity time."

He couldn't have given me that answer two hours before? I completely understand the need to have some time on your own and as he didn't go racing on Wednesday night because he wasn't feeling well, he had missed out on his weekly night off! I don't know why he hesitated in telling me. Was he embarrassed in asking for time off? The worst part was, he felt like he needed to justify to me why he needed the afternoon to himself. Now that I stop and think about it, I have heard interesting statements like this over the last week "You know I do a lot around here." "I take over when I get home you know."

It makes me wonder what I said or did to bring this on. I know that he does a lot around here, especially with Sophie and I try to remember to thank him for this. I usually get some smart alec response like "yeah, yeah I know" but I still try to say it so he knows.

Anyway, Sophie is totally all about daddy these days so when he comes home from work all she wants to do is play with him and hang out. I know it hasn't helped with the weather being so crappy this week. She loves being outside and we haven't been able to spend as much time outside during the day as we would like. Usually by the time daddy is home it has cleared a little or the rain has stopped and he is the lucky one who gets to take her outside to play. Meanwhile, it is not like I am inside eating bonbons - I am inside making dinner, cleaning up the house, doing laundry - all the things I haven't gotten too because I have been taking care of our child all day.

Each day, parenting brings new challenges big and small. The thing that I have realized is that it is important to not take any of it personally and to take each day, one day at a time, learning from the current challenge and moving forward. And on that note, I had better go - it sounds like bedtime isn't going so well. I will go and see if I can lend a hand.

Giggles and Hugs

I have been struggling lately with what to write. It isn't that I don't have things to write about, I do. I think the problem is that I have too many things running through my brain these days. I wish I had a computer attached to my brain for my wake ups with Sophie - the pieces I write at 3 a.m. are so eloquent and so well put together - and then when I sit down to pen something (can you still call it that), my mind goes blank!

Even now I struggle. Still, my brain keeps coming back to the fun of our morning so lets start there. We went to play with a friend so that his mom can have some "me" time for her and her youngest! The morning didn't start off the best - when you need to drive across town and can't leave because your car seat is in another car. OOPS!

Hubby came home and we fixed the situation relatively quickly and we were soon on our way. I was a little apprehensive - I wasn't sure how our little friend would be with us staying and his mom and sibling leaving. Needless to say, I worried for nothing - he was fine and we had a great time playing. We read some stories, played with trucks, trains, dumptrucks, balls. We had a game of follow the leader around the island kitchen which developed into a game of chase and topped everything off with snack for the toddlers and tea for the mommy!

But I have to say the best part of the day was watching the toddlers play. These two have played well together in the past so it really wasn't a surprise. Then the giggles started - each toddler would look at the other and then put their hands over their mouths and start laughing - WHY? - just because! Then they decided to walk around the island holding hands! Ohhhhh! So cute. And then there were hugs.

I love watching my daughter play with other kids. On the weekend she was surrounded and doted upon by her older cousins (12/9/8/7). They were so good with her and I was so happy to watch the elation on her face as they played with her. I grew up being the youngest of seven cousins and siblings. I remember never feeling left out or lonely when we would get together for family gatherings, so I am sure it is similar to what my toddler experienced on the weekend. These are the moments that make for incredible memories that last us a lifetime! Though next time - I need to remember to take my camera!