Forgive me father . . .

. . . for I have sinned. No wait I am not Catholic and therefore cannot hail mary my way out of this. I do have a confession though.

So in my Skinny Panties blog I said that I had had a crappy week with the exception of the Jann Arden Concert on Wednesday night (thanks Shannon!). My week has been an emotional roller coaster of sorts. You see, there was a chance I was preggers again, and as it has turned out that isn't the case. Monday night when I was sitting with our group to talk about the Liver Detox it was the absolute last place I wanted to be. Not because of you girls, but because of how my body was feeling and where I was emotionally.

You see I was having symptoms of being pregnant. Absolutely crazy off the wall dreams, tiredness that would make your eyes pop out, no energy even during the day after my workouts and anger, uncontrollable anger. I guess this happened in my pregnancy with Sophie. Etienne said one day I was a nice, happy wife and the next day I was a bitch. It lasted until the end of the first trimester and the old me returned. I kept asking myself - Was I ready for this? Were we ready for this? Once I realized that I wouldn't need to find those answers, I knew. Yes I was ready for this and it made me sad that it wasn't going to happen.

So all week I have been truly questioning why I was still doing this Detox. I haven't done green juice all week - just couldn't be bothered. In the afternoons I wasn't hungry either so I didn't really miss it until I had to do the Aloe Vera Juice shot each afternoon. GAG! Today's with juice was much better.

I had enough morning juice from when I juiced on Tuesday to get me to today. I am tired of chicken and turkey, and fish for meats (Sorry guys, I have had an aversion to lamb since my last pregnancy). I want bread, bread and more bread. I didn't even eat that much bread before we started but it is the one thing I have constantly craved since starting, that and red meat.

So I tested myself tonight, we went out for dinner to a local establishment. When looking at the menu for myself I realized I was scanning for those things that would fit in with the program. Not a lot of selection I must say. Yes the salad would have filled the void nicely but yet I didn't have it. I had fajitas. I ate one tortilla with chicken, rice, vegis, tomatoes and lettuce. I refused the sour cream and cheese, and then left the rest of the tortillas in the container. It was good but I didn't need or want another. Instead I finished the lettuce, tomatoes, chicken and vegis and had a bit more rice - I know carbs and protein. I left the restaurant feeling full and proud that I had stopped at just one tortilla.

On our drive home I realized that developing a healthier lifestyle is important to me. We only have a week and half to go on the Liver Detox before we can start slowly incorporating certain components back into our food choices. I do have to say that I will definitely look at my food choices much differently from here on in.