Balance

Balance. I struggle with balance every single day. I have inner ear issues and a condition called BPPV (Benign Paroxsymal Positional Vertigo. This is when the crystal in your inner ear get trapped down in the inner canals where they aren't supposed to be. Thing is I have exercises that a vestibular therapist has taught me do on my own when I have an attack. It usually takes about a day for recovery but I can live with that.

My lack of core strength has also caused balance issues over the past two years. By doing this Detox and working out with my trainer regularly I am working to fix this balance issue too.

The one that I struggle with most is the life/work balance issues. To me life is all the fun stuff I do with my daughter and family. This really isn't a struggle because I see the joy that it brings her. I feel the happiness in my heart and soul that comes from watching her and being with her as she explores and discovers the world around her. Sophie is an adventurous toddler who is also very independent and I do struggle with how to keep her safe without smothering her and not letting her learn on her own. That is coming as she and I spend more time together learning from each other.

My real struggle comes from being a stay at home mom, and wanting to play and teach my daughter yet the work issues in keeping up with the laundry, making meals, cleaning, cleaning and more cleaning and eventually getting to the point where I can declutter and sort things out, don't seem to take of themselves. Where are the cleaning fairies, trolls and unicorns when you need them?

Now I have to admit that I am a bit of a pack rat. I come by it honestly, I come from a long line of pack rats. I was only 12 and I can still remember how long and hard it was to sort through my grandmothers apartment after she died. And when my parents moved from the farm where I grew up two years ago, the packing, sorting and decluttering was horrendous. The fights between parents who rarely fight, having to be the peacekeeper and "adult" in the room that week leading up to the move is probably the hardest thing I have ever done - and imagine being eight months pregnant at the time. I swore after the move that I would go home and start decluttering my life and getting rid of things I don't need, use or want anymore. I am still waiting for that day to happen.

It isn't even the decluttering that gets to me most. Everyday I try to have a plan of what I want to try and get done. Some days I am successful and knock a couple of things off the list. Other days it is a disaster zone in my house. Right now I know there is at least three loads of laundry needing to be done, the dishes are piled across the counter because I haven't done them since last night, supper needs to started and as it is 4 p.m., it is that time of the day when Sophie really wants me to play with her. I am lucky that I have a child who is very good at playing on her own, but there are too many times when I say "Just one more thing Sophie, and mommy will be there to play." Well then something else always comes up.

Even as I sit here and type I am thinking of all the fun and not so fun things I could and should be doing. I know that I will eventually sort this out and determine what works for us. In the meantime, if I win the lottery, I like Shannon am hiring Peter Walsh to come and help me sort out my clutter and I will hire the necessary people to help me around the house so that I can do what I want to do most - spend time with my beautiful daughter and family without the guilt.