The newest angel . . .

I just found out this afternoon that a good friend's mom passed away on the weekend. My heart aches for her and her family because this has been a long hard struggle for them. Having beaten two rounds of Cancer in the past four years, things were really beginning to look up again for her. Unfortunately, no one saw the congestive heart failure caused by the chemo, not even her doctors, lurking around the corner just waiting to strike.

Last week they knew it was bad, they just didn't know it was going to turn even worse so quickly. In speaking with her today though, I am astounded by my friend's strength and resolve. I know she has had horrible moments in the last five days, she told me about some of them, but we also talked a lot about quality of life.

When I worked at Parkwood, in what feels like a million years ago now, I learned very quickly about quality of life from all angles - the impact on the patient now and in the future; the impact on the family now and in the future; making sure that your wishes are known so that in these trying times, the right thing can be done. I didn't get the sense that this family had had that conversation -- who knew they would have to -- but it was clear that they knew what mom wouldn't have wanted - to be hooked up indefinitely to life support on the off chance she might pull through. That is no way for her to live or for the family who is left behind. In this situation, no matter how you feel, you just can't be selfish.

They are having a small private family funeral on Thursday at 1 p.m. I know my friend has already said her goodbyes. I hope she takes that moment and many more for years to come to celebrate the wonderful woman who was her mother. And in an ironic twist of fate she also told me that she is 3 1/2 months pregnant. This baby will have one of the funniest and kindest guardian angels looking down over them. Rest in peace.